It must have been a slow news day, because this weekend on Fox & Friends, co-anchors Tucker Carlson, Anna Kooiman, and Clayton Morris were digging deep to find something to be outraged about. As Bleeding Cool reports, the program had a segment on terrible goings-on in the entertainment industry. They started by blasting leaked footage of a new Popeye cartoon in which Popeye is not smoking a pipe, decrying the wussification of the character. Then they took issue with the new female Thor because, well, they really didn’t have a reason for that other than they don’t like girls, I guess.
And then they turned their gaze to Wonder Woman. You can watch the full segment here, if you’re a masochist, but I’ll break it all down for you after the video:
First, they got upset about Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman costume because it didn’t have the halter top and short shorts that they liked, or the patriot markings of the classic outfit. Then, somewhat bizarrely, they also took issue with the dark colour scheme and the fact that Wonder Woman has to share her movie debut with Superman and Batman, which was an odd moment for me to say the least. Hearing people on Fox News say things I actually agreed with made me re-evaluate my entire life and every decision I’ve ever made, but after that life crisis I continued on with the video and things got ridiculous again.
Clayton Morris got all upset about the way Wonder Woman is drawn in the comic books right now, but instead of showing some Cliff Chiang art from Wonder Woman or perhaps some Tony Daniel art from Superman/Wonder Woman, he trotted out Jim Lee’s re-design of Wonder Woman’s outfit from 2010. This was for the “Odyssey” storyline that’s not only four years old but is also from an entirely different universe since the New 52 reboot. She hasn’t worn pants and a leather jacket in quite some time, but that didn’t stop the folks at Fox & Friends from getting all in a tizzy about it. Here’s a sample:
Morris: They’ve taken her from the beautiful, you know the short shorts, like that you might wear rollerblading, I don’t know, and they’ve stuck her in a pantsuit. Look at this, like she’s on her way to an accountant’s office.
Kooiman: Some people would say that this is an important thing, that we’re not sexualizing these women so much, right? There she’s definitely more covered in the other one at least.
Carlson: That’s a good Islamic point, I think you’re making. We should cover them, we should cover the women because otherwise it just incites the men.
Morris: I want to see Wonder Woman in that outfit!
Carlson: It’s immodest as we say in Sharia, so you know…
Morris: Is it wrong for me to say that I want to see that, I want to see Wonder Woman in the original short shorts and the halter top.
Kooiman: Nah, I don’t think so. I think she looks great. I actually like that outfit better.
Carlson: I want to see her in a burqa, and not smoking.
Morris: If you’ve got the body, flaunt it. That’s what I always say.
Kooiman: I’m a woman, hear me roar.
There’s so much stupidity in this exchange that I don’t even want to unpack it. It just makes me too sad that there are people who actually listen to these morons. Kudos to Anna Kooiman, though, for doing her best here, and throughout the segment, to offer counterpoints and not be wholly foolish. I feel nothing but compassion for her, having to sit between those two idiots every weekend.
Anyway, that was some great work by Fox News, getting outraged about a comic story from four years ago in the most offensive and sexist ways possible. I don’t understand why these people have a network. Why do you let them talk, America? I mean, I understand free speech and all, but they’re just so goddamn dumb.